गब्बर की गैंग का recruitment

a wacky title for ur first ever role play. never enacted in one before and at the very least expected a serious topic. any way it made preparing the stuff very interesting. i think i love humour as making a formal ppt for presentation a day after was quite a chore. so hoping for a few more role plays like this i may decide to try my hand at comedies. wrote after a long time [ a disclaimer basically to hope any rustiness is forgiven though i daresay it elicited a few laughs when we performed though i am still not sure it was because of the play or a really madcap acting display by our team. i would let the readers be the judge of it. so here is how it goes. ]

SCENE 1 :
GABBAR (enacted by me) is sitting in the interview room waiting for new bakras to recruit.

GABBAR : Yaar gang ki to band baj gayi hai. Jab se ye do launde seher se aye hain mere saare chamche dum daba ke bhaag gaye. Saala khana bhi khud hi banana padta hai. Chhamak Chhalo bhi unhi ke saath ho li aur mujhe bilkul akela chhod gayi. ab to no money and no HONEY. Bahut ho gaya ab to aur daake daalne hi padenge. Saale do chokre interview ke liye aayein hain. Mandi aur bhookh hali ke daur me inhi se kaam chalana padega. Saale jaise bhi lallu panju honge rakh loonga.

SCENE 2 :
SAMBHA and KALIA are chatting away as they wait for the interviews to begin.

[WRITER'S COMMENTARY: WE HAD 3 CHARACTERS IN ALL AS WE WERE THREE MEMBERS IN THE TEAM. SAMBHA was played by a girl and she is really talented and KALIA by a boy and so we had more risque dialogues with KALIA to maintain the decorum and i acknowledge and thank him profusely to be game for everything. A real sport. We were told to stay away from any explicit stuff if u know what i mean. There had been an incident before and perpetrator taken to task so we decided to play relatively safer. so apologies for lack of too much masala.]

SAMBHA and KALIA are quite dapper looking and articulate, former satyam employees looking suitably nervous as any sane person would while encountering GABBAR.

KALIA : Yaar is recession ne to wat laga di hai. Kahan to bangalore me ACs, PUBS, DISCOS me zindagi katati thi aur ab naukari aur salary ke laale pad gaye. Upar se Raju ne ghapla karke hamari kamar hi tod di. ab hum do "laid off" bechare bina sahare dekho ramgarh ke jangalo me dhool phank rahe hain. is gabbar se bhi dar hi lag raha hai. Ad me to bahut kuchh promise kiya tha lekin kahin hamein hi naa loot le.

SAMBHA : Bhai in these difficult times yahi ek dhandha rise pe hai. maine suna hai ye saala GABBAR kadodo kama ke andar daal rakha hai. Saath rahke hamari bhi to aish hi rahegi. Waise bhi lute huon ko kya lutega. So don't worry.
[Interview bell rings] Chalo ab is daaku ko impress karte hain.

SCENE III.
SAMBHA and KALIA ENTER THE INTERVIEW ROOM.

GABBAR looks up and roars : Aa gaye suar ke pillon. Saale kis angle se daku lagta hai. Satyam ke thuke hue launde jyada lag rahe ho. Kabhi chuha bhi maara hai aajtak.

SAMBHA : Sardar hum bahut bahadur hain. Aise na bolo. Chahe to aajma ke dekh lo.

KALIA : Haan sardar jaldi chalo gaon se sona, jewar aur chhokriya loot ke late hain.

GABBAR : Abe saale pehle recruit to ho jaa. Lage bak bak karne. Tumhara pehla test ek live project hai. Saher se kuchh chhokre aye hain aur bahut hero ban rahe hain. Ye lo mardoodon do laathiyan aur mere pyare dono aakhiri ghode. yaad rakhna agar inhe kuchh hua to saalon tumhari savari karoonga. Ghode wapas mujhe mint condition me chahiye tum chahe kaise bhi aao. jaa ke laundo ki jam ke dhunai karo aur mere paidon me laa le patko.

SAMBHA and KALIA : Ji sardar hum abhi jaate hain aur unhe le ke aate hain.

[rest of the scenes coming shortly. gotta go for lunch.]